Sadness

I have officially come to the conclusion that I'm not meant to have all the things I dreamt when I was younger. Certain things seem so far away and unobtainable now. I was so close to getting married but the man I was with didn't value me enough, and falsely led me to believe it was what he wanted too. Sadly mistaken! I guess things happen for a reason right?! It just means that i will have to face one of my biggest fears. Oh well I guess I might be strong enough to deal. I will have my children at least. So at least I get my family, not exactly how I pictured it but it's better than thinking I have to face all my fears right. I am afraid of during without ever being married. I'm afraid of dying without ever having a family of my own. I'm afraid of during without ever being truly loved. And I'm afraid of dying. Have to face too many of those to be happy. Just hope things get better sometime soon.